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Searching for humor

I will admit, somewhat sheepishly, that some folks say I’m EA. That’s short for “easily amused” and it’s hardly a compliment. But the way I see it, being EA can help you through those times when your trees are falling and your bees are dying–in spite of the enormous effort you’ve expended to prevent such things.

So while I was waiting for my bread to rise (the yeast didn’t die), I clicked through the list of recent search terms that landed people on HoneyBeeSuite. I suppose you need a certain warped sense of humor to find these entries funny since most of them are just typos. But, like I said, I’m easily amused.

Here are some I liked (with punctuation added for clarity). I hope these people found what they were looking for, but I doubt it. Not here anyway.

  • My beets absconded.
  • How do you crush and strain honey bees?
  • How can I make anise oil from goldenrod?
  • What is the best way to steal a bee hive?
  • How do I keep my bees from spitting?
  • My neighbor swarmed.
  • What does a honeycomb plant look like?
  • Mountain damp bees.
  • Where can I buy white water honey?
  • Need photo of honey bee cooking.
  • How far do tupelo trees go?
  • How do I put 11 frames in a 10-frame Langstroth?
  • Need bee escaping plans.
  • Combs get stuck in my teeth.
  • My bees are fresh.
  • I want to put my bees in my computer.
  • How does a slatted sack work?
  • Where can I find nutritious bees?
  • Where can I buy suits for honey bees?
  • How many farms in a hive?
  • What is a pollen tramp?
  • How do I mar my queen?

Rusty
HoneyBeeSuite

Pollen tramp. Photo by earthobservatory.nasa.gov.

Comments

Hello_Kitty_
Reply

The first time someone called me AR I was mortified. But now I’m proud to be anal-retentive. Maybe it’s the same with EA. (P.S.: Michael Bush has an answer for “How do I put 11 frames in a 10-frame Langstroth?”)

Rusty
Reply

HB,

So he does. You are absolutely right, but I’m still amused. It’s like trying to put 11 pounds of sugar in a 10-pound bag. I could have added another search item to my list and perhaps I should have. It said, “Michael Bush landing on the roof.” Whatever that means.

ScoobyDoBee
Reply

Oh thanks…..! I needed that laugh!!! I’m crying!!! So… How much is the dues to the EA club???!

Gretchen
Reply

This is hilarious! I guess I’m EA too! Though personally, I often have Mountain Damp Bees (only outside the hives), my beets have absconded at times (slugs), and a few of my neighbors have swarmed (fortunately, there are a lot of acres between us all).

Emily
Reply

My bees are fresh!

Guess I must be EA too. I often chuckle at the searches people use to find my blog. My absolute favourite so far is “beekeeper pin-up photo”. Other favourites include “woodlice poo”, “my eyes swelled up from rubbing them” (well that was silly) and the whimsical “what is the name of those pretty little blue wild flowers?”.

Jami
Reply

Hahahaha! I want a pollen tramp bumper sticker!!

Chelsea
Reply

I completely lost it at “pollen tramp”.

A couple of my favourite search terms for our website:

“how to beat honey”
“if honey bee will beat us what will happen to us?”
“pantyhose squishing”
“best thing I found out this year”
“i killed wasp”

Rusty
Reply

So people do internet searches to find out what they found out? Sounds serious.

Sarah
Reply

I’ve wondered Q#4, I’m afraid. There are 3 abandoned hives in the backyard of an abandoned house. I wonder if they are being used by anything and who I would contact so that I could find out legally. I rather like the mystery, though.

Rusty
Reply

Sarah,

Contact your county records office and find out who owns the property. It’s public information. Then you can contact them and ask about the hives. Maybe they’ll let you have them for free.

Sarah
Reply

Good idea. Thanks.

Sarah
Reply

I couldn’t find anything out that way. But I noticed that the property was being mowed (not often) so I decided to stalk the property until I saw the mower. Yesterday there were two men there so my mother and I stopped, she to ask if the house was being sold and I to ask if the beehives could be. The man seemed surprised by my question, and said “but there are bees IN them”. Lo and behold! I looked and there were small black honey bees bearding on both (there are two) hives. He doesn’t do anything for them really, there is a reducer on because he is worried about mice and he said he’s gotten honey from them. I find it very encouraging to know his neglect method has had good results.

Nancy
Reply

Thanks for many good chuckles. I do have a clue to #3, tho. There is a rare, lovely variety of goldenrod, pretty sure it’s Solidago anethiodora, Sweet Goldenrod, that has an anise scent. Doesn’t grow on MY farm, of course. But it probably has been used for flavoring.
Anyway, never mind the bumper sticker – I want a Pollen Tramp T-shirt!

Rusty
Reply

Nan,

I do too. Maybe we should design one.

Nancy
Reply

On it. E-mailing you an image, if NASA won’t let you use theirs. Here’s my thought:
make it look like a search window.
Q. Where can I find a pollen tramp?
[Image of pollen coated worker]
A. Look around, we’re everywhere.

But I’d like to hear others’ takes. Bet every female beekeeper in the world will want one.

Lindy
Reply

I would very much like a pollen tramp t-shirt too. Are they still available and could they be shipped to a European address? I too love this site and spend more time reading here than any other leisure activity. Could I have permission please to use the pollen tramp photo of the bee covered in the yellow droplets of pollen. I would use it for an article in our bee club book and I would certainly credit the photographer and your site Rusty for showing it to all. Thank you and a wonderful start to 2013 for everyone. Lindy

Rusty
Reply

Lindy,

The t-shirts are still in the works. I’ve got a place lined up to make them, but I’m still looking for the best photo. I will let everyone know when they are ready.

The photo you mention belongs to the US gov’t, but it can be used if you just credit it in the same way I did.

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